By Sarah Louise Ryan, Relational Psychotherapist, Professional Matchmaker ex-New Yorker. New York has always been a city of possibility. Ambition. Energy. Reinvention. It attracts people who are building something - careers, identities, futures. It is unsurprising, then, that dating in New York mirrors the city itself: fast-moving, opportunity-rich, endlessly stimulating, and often emotionally overwhelming. For many singles, the experience of dating here is not a lack of choi

In the early days of online dating, success seemed to belong to those with the best photos, the wittiest bios, or the boldest opening lines. But as we enter 2026, something quieter and far more decisive is shaping romantic outcomes. Emotional intelligence. Not just chemistry. Not just attraction. But the capacity to understand oneself, to read another accurately, and to navigate connection with psychological maturity rather than instinct alone. EQ has become the hidden differ

by Sarah Louise Ryan, Relationship Expert & Psychotherapist. There is a particular silence that settles between couples when sex disappears. It is rarely dramatic. More often, it arrives quietly, in postponed intimacy, in polite goodnights, in bodies turning away rather than toward each other. Many couples describe this experience as a sexless marriage or a relationship with a lack of sex, but what they are really describing is a disconnection that has grown subtle roots. And

by Sarah Louise Ryan, Psychotherapist & Relationship Expert. As the year comes to a close, many of us feel a quiet pressure to “sum it all up.” To decide whether the year was good or bad. Productive or disappointing. A success or something to move on from as quickly as possible. But most years don’t fit neatly into those categories. They hold complexity. Growth and grief. Moments of strength alongside moments of exhaustion. And often, we move straight from one year into the n

The end of a year often arrives quietly. The calendar changes, routines resume, and yet most couples never pause to ask what the year actually did  to them — or what it revealed about how they relate, cope, and connect. In couples therapy, I often say that reflection is not about fixing the relationship; it’s about listening to it . As this year comes to a close, here is an invitation to slow down together - to take stock of where you’ve been, and to consider how you want to

by Sarah Louise Ryan, Relationship Expert & Couples Therapist. When couples reach out to me, it’s rarely because they’ve stopped caring. More often, they are simply worn down from trying again and again without seeing the change they hoped for. Many have spent months or years talking, avoiding, arguing, withdrawing, making promises and watching old patterns quietly return. By the time they arrive for couples counselling in Oakham or online, they often feel disconnected, uncer

Intimacy is a core element of healthy relationships, but it can be uniquely shaped by the presence of ADHD. While ADHD is often described in terms of attention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity, its influence expands far beyond those traits. It affects emotional regulation, sensory processing, communication, and how individuals experience closeness. Understanding these layers allows couples and individuals to approach intimacy with greater compassion and clarity. Intimacy is no

The holiday season carries an emotional charge that few other times of year can match. Even in strong relationships, December has a way of amplifying underlying tensions. Expectations increase, schedules tighten, family dynamics resurface and the pressure to perform togetherness often becomes heavier than the connection itself. For couples, the difficulty isn’t usually love or commitment - it’s the way external stressors strain emotional availability and communication. What i

Every December carries a particular emotional texture. There’s a quiet intensification to it - lights in the dark, familiar music, the repetition of rituals, and for many people, especially those who are single, that atmosphere can magnify feelings that sit just beneath the surface the rest of the year. Christmas often becomes difficult not because you are alone, but because of what “aloneness” is framed to mean. Our culture quietly equates the festive season with romantic pa

When The Economist  recently described a “relationship recession”, it struck a chord with many of us who work with singles and couples every day. Around the world, people are dating less, marrying later, and spending more of their lives single than ever before. It’s not a passing trend. It’s a social shift reshaping everything from housing to happiness. In some ways, this rise in singlehood is a triumph. Millions of people are free to choose relationships from desire rather t

By Sarah Louise Ryan , Psychotherapist & Relationship Counsellor. Porn addiction or excessive porn use is more than just a personal struggle -it’s a relational one. For many individuals and couples, pornography becomes a silent wedge that distances partners emotionally, physically, and energetically. The pleasure of porn for one, can be the relational pain for another. Ultimately, any behaviour that doesn't serve the relationship and energetically let's air out of the tyre as

As a therapist specialising in couples relationship therapy and relationship counselling, one of the most common things I hear from couples is, “We should have come sooner.” 

When you’re in a relationship that’s heading toward marriage, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of wedding planning and...

Criticism is a common issue in many relationships. It can be a destructive force. Here's how to navigate it in a romantic relationship...

Starting a new relationship is a thrilling and transformative experience that can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Often we can get...